As broken as her heart might be, she was bored working at home. It was 5 in the afternoon, almost sunset. Walking around under the golden hours seemed appealing. Maybe she could finally update her Instagram which was almost dead, since she had not been posting stuff for a while. She loved photography and tolerated social media but she loved her real moments more.
After thinking over the pros and cons, she finally decided to go out and brought along her Harry Potter 7th novel.
She took a detour, avoiding 'their' usual coffee shop, just in case he was still there. She snorted over her own idea, there was no way he would wait for her. He must be busy right now, she thought while rolling her eyes. She walked down the beautiful canal and passed the cafe that sold the best chocolate in town. She stopped in front of the cafe.
The cafe's warm atmosphere was so tempting, yet she could not deny the sadness creeping in. It was also the reason why she came to the cafe after the big fight with her parents six months ago--it was all because of the displayed comfort. Funnily, it was also the first time she met him. A guy who was suddenly sitting in front of her, watching her quietly. Despite of her depression, there was something about him that made her couldn't help but notice.
She finally entered the cafe and picked the same spot to sit, near the big wide window. It was almost hilarious how this cafe suddenly turned into her safe haven whenever she was upset.
After ordering a hot chocolate from the overly kind waiter, who half flirted half asked for her order, she sighed and leaned on the chair. Slowly, closing her eyes.
It still hurt, though.
No, worse than that. She missed him already.
****
He walked along the canal, his feeling was a mess. His instinct told him to drop by her apartment asked what was wrong with her. What if she got sick? What if she was mad at him? But why? He sighed and kept walking.
Suddenly, he stopped dead on his track. There she was, sitting on the same spot where he found her around six months ago. His own personal hidden gem. However, she looked so upset yet peaceful at the same time. She closed her eyes but he knew that she was not sleeping.
Was she okay?
Was she avoiding him by not coming to their usual coffee break?
He had to know! This wondering business started to piss him off.
He entered the cafe and approached her rather quickly--too quick for his liking--yet, he did not give a damn anymore. Three months were enough to be with her but not in the way he wanted. Seeing her closing her eyes with sagging shoulder made him wanted, no scratched that, needed to hold her close. Shielded her from the bad, every single one. No more arm-length approach, he could not do that anymore.
****
She was so tired, she might fall asleep in that comfy chair. The heavenly smell of Belgian chocolate did not help either. However, she remembered that she was now in a cafe, no one would appreciate a sleeping girl in the chair, no matter how cozy it was.
Slowly she opened her eyes...and there he was.
"Am I dreaming?" She mumbled to herself.
"Nope..." He smiled softly.
Gosh! He was so gorgeous! She almost hated herself for thinking about that because he was not hers to own.
"What are you doing here?" She said rather hoarsely.
"Looking for you because you bail on our regular coffee?"
"Well, I'm not feeling well."
"Which is exactly why you should go home now and sleep."
"I was bored at home." She answered and straightened her posture.
"Then why didn't you tell me?"
"Ummm...why should I?" She frowned, remembering his lovey-dovey lunch with Alissa.
"Well, I can bring you something to eat? I can even bring your hot chai tea. I waited for two hours, you know."
"You did?"
"Yes." He said, looking dejected.
"Why?"
"Well, that's our routine." He said simply.
"I thought--"
"You thought what, Avni?"
"Nothing." She said.
She did not need to make things more complicated than it was. They never talked about being more than a coffee buddy. Yes, there were time when she thought that he attracted to her but he never really made any move. They had been a coffee buddy for almost 4 months now.
Yet, after his admission of waiting for her, she really hoped that he might want more, despite of the fact that he took Alissa out.
But who was she? He was a free and eligible man, he deserved thousands of Alissas. Most importantly, he had the freedom to choose whoever he wanted.
She had no right.
That was why she should snap it out before he knew about her feeling and leaving her high and dry. Well, at least she could always have a friend like him. That way, she could always have him near despite of their different expectation.
"I'm okay, really." Avni righted her sitting position, tried her best to assure him that she was really okay.
"I don't trust you." He said doubtfully while studying her.
She forced herself to grin so wide, she almost believe that she was fine.
"Reallyyy... And I'm sorry again that I did not contact you. I thought you would leave once you saw that I wasn't there. I also thought that you might be busy so I didn't text nor call you." She admitted and bit her lip.
Yes, it was correct, she never had the gut to contact him. He also never contacted her, other than talking about their coffee schedule, which was really sad. For her, it was an obvious sign that he did not want more.
Gosh! It was getting harder and harder. The more she spent her time with him, the more she wanted him.
He felt like home, a place where she belonged. He looked like someone she could rely on. She trusted him--something that she rarely gave, especially to a man. Yet, she did not want to compete to get his heart. She has no energy left.
Especially, after witnessing how easy he could charm other woman.
She should get out from here soon without hurting his feeling. Maybe also avoid him until unforeseeable future, it was for the best or for the sake of her sanity. She was sure he would be okay, though. Schylar without Avni would be fine but Avni without Schylar... well, let's just say that Avni must work harder than Schylar to cope with the loss of their regular coffee time.
He suddenly exhaled frustratingly which made her guilty but also confused.
"Umm...you okay?" Avni asked, unsure.
"No, I'm not okay, Avni. This is not okay." He groaned frustratingly.
"Well, you can tell me if you want, if it would make you better." The truth was Avni wanted to comfort him, hug him. Heck! She just simply wanted him.
He then looked at Avni in the eyes, his face somber. "I want you."
Avni gasped, not prepared at all over his blunt admission.
"It's been a while since I want you but I know what we are and what we are not. I want more now. Your absence was a slap to myself. It reminds me on how helpless I was dealing with your absence.
I dealt with many people, lobbied hundred of politicians, yet here I am being a coward in front of you. I didn't even have the gut to use your phone number whenever I want!
I don't want to deny myself anymore, Avni. I want you. I want to be your guy. I want to have a quick lunch with you even between our crazy schedule. I want to have a longer coffee time with you. I want to be your dinner date. Hell, I want to call you or even text you whenever I want.
I want you to rely on me like I rely on you. I want you to trust me like I trust you. I just simply want you to want me like I do you."
Avni was speechless, while Schylar looked so desperate.
He dugged his head before smiled bitterly before pinned Avni with his fiery gaze.
"It looks like that I don't only want you, I need you. So Avni, is there any chance that you somehow need me too?"
His glistened eyes were her undoing. She raised from her seat, sat on his lap and simply held him.
"I need you too."
He held her so tight, she could not breath. Yet, it was the easiest breath she could take today.
